Hello everyone,

There's so much for me to say but the words won't come out right away so...this may take a long time to read. Ever since the beginning of this year, I knew that this year, my life was/is going to change. So much has happened these past few months, it's been positively amazing. Even as we speak, my soul is very much alive for what God's going to do in my life and in these next couple of months. So...bear with me as I explain. If it sounds sad, it's because I AM sad, but I'm also filled with joy, love, and happiness beyond expression. I'll probably be crying throughout this entire journal entry so...here we go.

Pastor Daniel told me that the letter "8" in 2008 meant "change and new beginnings". Well... the letter "9" in 2009 means "to bring to a conclusion and execute judgment". At first...I had not known what that had meant. Pastor Daniel had told me what "9" had meant in the Greek and...I hadn't understood that until now.

First, this year started out horrible. So many things were happening, things ending, specifically. Friendships were fading and still are fading, people I thought I could trust and depend my life on turned their backs on me and betrayed me, and things I thought were so valuable to me and so important...turned out to be very unimportant and worth nothing. So, it seemed as if my life was turning upside down. But...now I see God moving in my life more than He has in YEARS! Read below!

Second, I believe God wants me to move to CO for a year to complete an internship at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, CO called theFurnace. I know deep in my heart that this is what God wants me to do, and yet...I know that I want do go. Sure, I'll miss Flagstaff so much and all of you who will remain here but...I've wanted, for a long time, to know my "CHA-ZONE" (or vision) that God has for my life and I know that if I get away from Flagstaff and that way I can focus on my life with God. As sad as that sounds, don't worry. I'm moving back in a year and I know that seems like a long time but...if you ever need anything. You have my number and you can call me at anytime. Be praying for me that God may reveal to me the "cha-zone" He has for my life. I will miss you all so dearly.

Third, I get to meet Vic Mignogna. I know you're thinking "That's not very sad" but it makes me happy to the point of crying. Because I know that God knew that meeting Vic Mignogna was my dream and God's gonna make it happen for me. You see...I got a hold of his email and requested him to do something, but Vic being Vic, said he could not do the request because so many people ask requests all the time through email and he simply couldn't do them all. I told him not to worry about it, but then I told him how happy I was to know that that he was spreading our faith and I told him what a marvelous job he was doing. I also told him that even if we didn't meet in this life, that we'd meet in Heaven. He then told me that if I could make it down to the A-Con in Oct, that he would fulfill my request personally. But that's not all that I'm thankful for. I'm so happy to know that there's Christian people out there doing things that we love. And I thank God that He's going to give me that chance to meet him and actually speak with him.

Fourth, (this one's very long) Friends are no longer friends, which saddens me deeply. The people I thought I could lean on and depend on were not willing to do the same for me. Whenever I see them, I smile and wave and they walk away. I hear them gossip about me behind my back and I cannot help the tears that spring into my eyes. Or they say they are my friends, and do not speak to me. At all. They call me "friend" and they totally deny my existence...and if they are not walking away from me or ignoring me, they stray from God's path and that saddens me even more. It hurts me so deeply when friends I grew up with had decided that God was not something they wanted to have for the rest of their lives and left the church. I know I cannot chase after them and make them come back, nor can I tell them what I believe because it does not matter.

While I still have a few great friends who love me to the point of death, it saddens me that I cannot have the friendships that I used to have. I still love my friends that have gone their own ways, but...I do not think that we could ever bond like that again. I don't want to set myself up for hurt again. I wish them the best in life and I hope that, one day, if they find Christ again or for the first time, we can be friends again.

To the friends I love so deeply, thank you all so very much for everything you've ever done for me. You've been there for me as a shoulder to cry on, as a hand to raise me back up to my feet, and a foot to kick in the butt when I'm being a brat. I thank God every day for each and every one of you for being there for me, especially when I do not deserve any of it. Thanks for putting up with my attitude, mood swings, and obnoxious behaviors at random times.

For all of my dearest friends and family, I have written a special message for each of you. They are all below so...read away!

FAMILY:

Dominic: Dominic, there is so much to say to you but so little words can come out at a time. I guess that all I really can say is that...I am so proud of you. Even though we go head-to-head every time we even SEE each other and we're constantly arguing over the most dumb things, that I love you regardless. You bring the only humor and joy into my life, believe it or not. You have helped me get out of my comfort zone and grow more than you'll ever know. Thank you so much for everything you've ever done for me, because I truly do appreciate it. You complete our family, Dominic. We wouldn't be the "Chances" without you. Thank you so much for everything that you do. God has such a wonderful plan for you that He just can't wait until you submit to Him and He'll make everything work out for you! I wish you and Anna the best and the happiest! I love you so much Dominic!

Curtis: So much to say. Curtis, I have never, EVER seen such charisma from any other "Christian" your age. Thank you so much for being the example and shining the light of Christ in our church, youth and most importantly, our family. Because of your example, I know that I feel led to go to CO and draw closer to God. I know He has a plan for my life and I know that theFurnace is where I feel led to go. Thank you for being a Christ-like figure in my life. I pray that you will continue to do as God has called you to do and you will do what you can do to the best of your abilities! I love you so much Curtis!

Daddy: Of course I'll still call you "Daddy"! I don't care if I'm 17 or 43, I'll STILL call you "Daddy"! XD Dad, I just wanted to let you know how much I love and appreciate you. You are the most wonderful, loving, caring, God-filled, integrity-driven man I have ever met and I am so proud to call you my dad. You and I have gone head-to-head many times but I want you to know that regardless of those hard times, I want you to know that you are my father and no matter what, I would never replace you. You have taught me everything from walking and talking to loving others the way Christ loves them. You have given me things that will last forever and I will never, ever, forget you. And I can only hope to find a husband with half of the qualities you have. I love you so much daddy and I pray that we can grow closer together when I'm gone. And no matter what, I'll always be your "Daddy's Little Girl". I love you daddy!

Mama: Mama...I must say that I have to thank you the most. You have taught me so much these past couple of years. Even though I'm still a work in progress (actually I'm progressing very slowly) I'm going to get there one day. I know that I've put you through so much drama these past couple of years with everything that's been going on and I know that most of those grey hairs on your head are my fault but...I want you to know that you are my role model. I look up to you and I admire everything that you do. I admire that you are probably the most integrity-filled woman I've ever met and I'm so happy to have you as my mother. I admire that you are a servant and you'd rather let someone else get the spotlight while you just serve and smile. I want to thank you for being my mother, mentor, guide and not to mention, friend. Thank you for everything you've taught me, including being the best woman of God I can be. Words cannot even describe how much you mean to me. I love you so much mama and I'm praying for that vision of your youth facility to become true! I love you mama!

FRIENDS:

~forgottenbravery: Amanda...man, words cannot even express what a wonderful person you are. I remember when we met in P.E Freshmen year and when you had first gotten me into Fruits Basket. I remember first seeing you and you smiling and waving at me, with that friendly smile of yours. I remember running in P.E with you and just all-around enjoying your company. Now...almost three years later, and we've grown closer as friends. I'm so thankful that God sent me someone like you my way. So friendly and fun, what I needed in a Christian friend. Thank you so much for being my friend and for just being an all-around great person! And I know times with Philip are hard right now but...know this: you are beautiful. You are fun and talented. You are unique and absolutely loved. If you are willing to fight through this hard time, I know you can pull through it and come out just as strong. I know you can do it. I know-we were in Karate together. ^_^ Do your best at everything you do. And know that Christ is always here for you, even when me, your friends, and Philip are not. And He wants to be with you more than anyone else. I love you, Amanda.

~Beca22: Heh heh...Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca...my dear friend and sister. It's been a long time since I've said your name. I just wanted to let you know that even though we don't talk much anymore, I still find a time in each day to think of you and send good thoughts your way. I miss the times we were in Jr. High-the first road to our new lives as young adults. I know that I was not the best example when we were in Jr. High. I slipped up and did things that I never should have done. I feel horrible because I feel as if I became a stumbling block to you because...you were not the way you were in Jr. High the way you are now. And I ask you, no, I BEG you to forgive me for becoming a stumbling block to you. I know that what I did was wrong and I regret it more than anything and I ask you to forgive me. It's up to you whether or not you want to forgive me or not but...I just want you to know that no matter who you are now, I still love you the same way I loved you back then. No matter who you are now, what you did, what you're doing, or what you think...Jesus and I love you to death. You are my little sister-you made my Jr. High the best year, knowing I had a great friend like you by my side. I know that you're moving and I know we will be very far apart, but I pray that we will be able to keep in contact and become closer friends in the process. I pray also that God would reveal Himself to you in ways that you could not even fathom. I pray that you will fall in love with God all over again, like you did when you were a little girl. I love you so much, Rebecca. You have a special place in my heart that no one else can take and I pray that you and I will grow as friends and sisters in Christ. I love you, Rebecca.

~DrunkenSniper999: Hello Ryan. I know it's been forever since I've said anything to you, but believe me, I have not forgotten about you. I could never forget the young man who made my Jr. High and Rebecca's Jr. High enjoyable. ^_^ I miss the times we had in class and hanging out in the lunch room, growing a new friendship, close enough to having a new sibling. And I know that when we met...I was not the best example of a Christian. I thought I was, just because I went to church and I read my Bible, whereas in reality... I was a hypocrite. I did bad thing and said worse things, and you and Rebecca followed my example. I ask you to forgive me for being such a horrible example of my Savior. And I know that you don't believe in God but...I do, and God's the most important person in my life right now. I thank you for the wonderful times we had in Jr. High and the times we hung out at Rebecca's house, playing Sonic and talking non-stop about anime. I also want to thank you for being there for my sister, Rebecca. I know that you two have gotten so close to each other and I know how much you mean to her-please take good care of her. She's like my sister and I love her so much. I wish the best in life for you and I hope that someday...the three of us can get together again, just like in old times, and we can all play Sonic games together and have fun. I love you, Ryan, and God bless you.

~YoumaOtonashi & Dieing-Ember: Hannah and Celah...you didn't really think that I'd forget about you two, did I? Haha, I certainly hope not. I want you two to know that...you two are two of the five best friends I've ever had. (lol the other two are Viv, Jolynne and Rebecca). But you two hold a very special place in my heart, in my soul, that no one else can have. You two have been there for me when I had no one else to turn to. Whatever I needed, from emotional support to hot cheetos, you've been there to give it to me. And I appreciate everything you two have ever done for me. I love you two so much, from the bottom of my heart and the pit of my soul. I am so glad that God has brought us together and that we could spend time getting to know each other that no one else could. I am proud to say that you two are my best friends and that I know things that others do not know...but I also take this to encourage you that I will not be around forever, as I am leaving for CO in a couple of months. Please, get to know new people. They aren't as bad as you think they are. I know that you don't like to get out of your comfort zones very much but...I won't be around forever and I don't want to grow new friendships and have you two alone. That's what hurts me the most: the thought of you two being alone. Please, pray to God for new and Christ-centered relationships. I'm saying this because I love you two so much and I know that you two can do it. Hannah and Celah...you two have come so far in just two years. You two have grown and matured in ways that I don't even think I could myself haha but...I encourage you to keep yearning to grow and learn. I encourage you to pursue Christ and to love Him unconditionally, and with His love, love others. I love you, Hannah and Celah...my "neechans".

~shirabara: Viv...I cannot express enough how much you mean to me. Even when I think about how much your friendship means to me brings tears to my eyes. You've done so much for me, even though we are both from very different faiths. Even though I wish you knew Christ, His love, and His plan for you...it's all up to you. But I thank you for continuing to be my friend, regardless of how much I talk about God. Please forgive me if I've ever offended you for anything I've said or done to you...I know you're probably thinking "What?" But please forgive me...I just, the joy for the Lord I have in my heart...I want to express it and give it to everyone, and I know you of all people understand. I will never forget you, or anything you've ever done for me. All of the art you gave me, I still hold very dear to me. It's in a sparkling folder on the top shelf in my closet. I just want you to know that you've progressed so much and your art is becoming beautiful masterpieces. And even though you've got a long way to go, please know that you're on the right track and with your imagination, you can do anything. I love you so much, my best friend. And I just want you to know how much God loves you. He loves you so much Viv that He sent me into your life to tell you so. Thank you for everything you've done for me and I hope that, one day, some day, hopefully soon... you will have an encounter with God and His love that you will have no idea. I love you Vivian.

Jolynne: I know you don't have a D.A account but I know that you'll find this eventually in time. Jolynne...whether you believe it or not, it is YOU who has become my inspiration to draw closer to God and to read my Bible even more, to discover God and light a new passion for Him that I never had. Ever since I met you, I knew that God had me meet you so we could build a strong bond even after you moved to Utah. I cannot even express how thankful I am that we had met and how close we are as friends now. I lay awake at night and I wait for you to text me so we can go on for hours about life, love, laughter, and most importantly, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank you for being here for me as a friend and I thank you for putting up with the crap I've put you through. I thank God that I was able to meet someone like you and I'm so thankful that you're in my life. I love you so much beyond the point of expression. I wish you the best and I pray that you strive for excellence. I love you, my dearest friend, Jolynne.

To anyone I may have missed/forgotten, please don't get offended. I just named the people that first came to mind. But for all of you whose names did not appear here, know that I love you just as much as these guys and that I wish you all the best!!! And as you know, I will not be on here barely at all for the next year. I will be working and be preparing for CO. So if I don't update my journal or you don't see me having any recent activity, it's not because I went and killed myself, got it? Lol it's because I'm so busy! I love you all so much and, if you want to get ahold of me, please contact me through email at:

Cruella6235@AOL.com (man I GOTTA change my dumb screen name...)

I love you all so very much!!! God bless you!!!!

Signing off,
Corina Chance